What will happen tonight?

I'm seeing that guy tonight.  He's been texting me throughout the week and has made it clear he likes me.  This makes me insecure.  He'll find out I'm actually a loser!  He'll turn out to be an even bigger loser than me because who else would like me?  (He does have a slight air of desperation about him, he's certainly more invested in this than I am.)

I had coffee with Instafriend yesterday and she grilled me.  What do I want?  What is it about Big Hands that I like that this other guy doesn't have?  Why don't I ask Big Hands out?  Is there any potential in the new roommate?

(there was also a conversation about open relationships and swingers that stemmed from discussing a book she was reading.  She's quite open to the idea, her husband is strictly monogamous but they've even discussed going to a swinger's club.  I'm mildly scandalized!  Instafriend doesn't know about my sexual experience since I was with Walrus when we became friends, and she's so comfortable with her own sexuality it would never occur to her that I'm having such troubles with it.)

Big Hands:  he's smart, positive, has perfect grammar and has devoted his life to making a difference.  How is anybody going to compare with that?  He's clearly an extraordinary person.  That fact that he's a huge dork only endears him to me.  But I feel like I don't really see him clearly as a person.  He's my 'unicorn' as Instafriend put it.

I just wanted to deal with moving out.
I am slightly hopeful for tonight.  I will give this guy a chance.  He was very nervous last week.  I wasn't immediately attracted to him but to be honest, I think some part of me is saying 'Kissing!  There could be kissing.   Go get kissed, you idiot!'