Small updates

1. Got new car, same model as the last one

2. Taking some workshops in job search stuff, resumes and interviews.  Hating it

3. But had an interview last week and one next week.

4. Suddenly obsessed with the idea I should be a school teacher and am looking into going back to uni for that

5. Medical scare- I complained to my doctor I was gaining weight, always hungry and headachy.  Was sent for bloodwork, which showed high cortisol.  The doctor went back through my medical records and said I probably didn't have ovarian cysts at the moment, but maybe I had Cushings.  Was sent to a specialist who said the cortisol results were a false result from my birth control.  Phew!  But I don't quite understand what's happening with my PCOS.  I was diagnosed with them 12 years ago, but an ultrasound from five years ago (for something else) showed clear, cyst-free ovaries and nobody noticed.  So that's a bit of a weird feeling...  maybe I could get pregnant without treatment?

6. in fact I am going crazy with the idea of parenthood.  This has been previously discussed a few posts back, but now I am absolutely gripped with it.  Every time I see a baby or a pregnant person... Made spreadsheets of income as a teacher with and without mat leave.  Told all my girlfriends but hid it from Silver Fox.  Confessed to him last night that I was 'baby crazy', that if was happening we had four years at the most, that I was struggling to reconcile my desire to have one with my fears about the environment... he said he did like the idea of us having a family (he wants more than one...) but had his own doubts about how much of an emotional toll parenting can take and if he'd be good at it.  I think we agreed it's something we want to do (probably!) and we finally talked about his career plans, which are vague, but less vague than I imagined.

7.  this made us super mushy the next day.  It's kinda a big deal if someone says they would make a baby with you.