A whole bunch of little things

A bunch of small updates.  Have I really only been with this guy for two months?

I threw myself a birthday and housewarming party and 5 people came, plus the male roommate joined in.  Nerdboy met Walrus, which was awkward.  Instafriend said she caught Walrus raising an eyebrow at a few things Nerdboy said, but other than that Walrus seemed fine.  Nerdboy got a little nervous I think, and had a glass of wine, and talked a lot.  He would jokingly put down other people's taste in music and movies, and it was just, just, just on the edge of being mean.

I said very little the whole evening, just watched my friends interact.  The group seemed to get along fine and the roommate fit in well.

It happened that the female guests left early and Walrus, Nerdboy and Roommate were left.  We were doing dishes, I was hoping Walrus would leave but somebody made him a cup of tea and he seemed settled in to stay put for a while.  I mentioned we hadn't played the board game sitting on the table, and the roommate wanted to get a game going.  So we did, for some reason.  

But we played, and it seemed ok.  Nerdboy, I think, was privately freaking out just as I suspected, and got flustered trying to explain the rules of the game.  The roommate became the key person keeping the group together, as he was the only 'neutral' one at the table.  You know, the only person I hadn't slept with.....

Anyways.  Nerdboy is very competitive and did not play a friendly game, even to me.  I won anyways.  It was after midnight, Nerdboy had his car but didn't offer Walrus a ride, which I could understand.

Afterwards Instafriend said Nerdboy was a great physical match for me and we'd have cute babies.  She said he was kinda weird but she liked him.  She said something about recognizing that he fell somewhere on the autism/Asperger's spectrum and that her husband does too and she knows how to deal with it.  Uh, what?

Since that event, the doubts have grown.  He didn't shine at the party, he didn't make a good impression on my friends.  He didn't do anything wrong, he just was a bit opinionated.

Then his bathroom got reno'ed and he spent some time at my place. I don't feel comfortable having him sleep at my place, and although we did shower together, sexy times weren't an option if I thought the other roommates would even guess what we were up to.  I'm so private about sex.  I don't want people to know I have a sex life, but when I didn't have a sex life, I didn't want them to know that either!

The reno went two days longer than expected and my bed hurt his back so we tried to stay at his place even though it wasn't done, and we had to deal with a bathroom with no door and no shower.  He got super stressed that it wasn't done and that we couldn't have a quiet Saturday at home and that his stuff wasn't in the right place.  

Nerdboy is OCD, I mean he used to go to a psychiatrist and he's been diagnosed as such.  (I really should get him to tell me more about this.  Kinda important.)   He needs things to be a particular way.  I'm completely the opposite, I grew up in chaos and clutter.
He gets really snippy when he's stressed and takes it out on me.  When the bathroom was finally done and he was putting everything back, I was trying to help but I put some things in the wrong place and I got treated like an idiot.  I went and sat on the couch and let him do it alone.  He had no idea I was upset and once everything was back in place he was back to being loving boyfriend again....

Sometimes when he's cooking, I ask if there's anything I can do to help and he says 'Stand there and look pretty.'   I HATE THAT.

Anyways, next time I get snarked at, I'm saying something.  Because that weekend, there was no way I was going to spend a lifetime with someone who makes me feel stupid.

We have sex a lot.  It's going quite well.  He starts with his fingers, sometimes even that hurts.  It hurts when he enters me, but very quickly it goes away and starts to feel good.  I don't think I'm having orgasms.  Partial orgasms?  Mini-orgasms?  I don't know.  I didn't think we'd get this far this quickly but am obviously curious about what it feels like to have the real deal.
We've had some good conversations about sex lately....how casual sex freaks me out (he's done it, I don't expect I ever will), how he feels about being my only lover, how I feel about the vasectomy, etc

He really is a great partner to introduce me to sex.  I couldn't ask for better.  I hope I'm not just keeping for the sex, haha.  And his great cooking.  He's a little weird but he's mine.

In non-relationship news, I added up my expenses this month and yikes!  I've needed to invest in stuff for the move, and for the new bike, and the trip to the wedding.  One of my teaching gigs was cancelled so I desperately need a source of income.  I have a job interview this week for childcare, horrible hours.  I'd work before school 7-9am and then have a 5 hour break then work again 2-6pm.  Ironically the place is near where I used to live with Mom.  If I get the job I'll spend the break at her house, and walk my old dog and watch some tv and hopefully make some art.

I was supposed to face my dad today for a 'talk' but am feeling sick and cancelled.  Might write him a letter instead.

Life is so full these days.  I'm sure I've missed little things I wanted to record.