Future Unclear

So somwhat shamefacedly I admit I'm still messaging the bearded fellow.  He apologized and was very polite after.  We're talking about music, presently. 

Just my luck...

Oh the perils of online dating...
Two days ago I received my first OK Cupid message and it was from someone I was interested in.  So I took a deep breath and wrote a little message. 
The next morning, two email notifications.  He had written at 11pm and again at 3am.  For some reason I didn't go read them right away.  Once I signed in I would feel obligated to answer since people can see when you've been online.  I had a very busy day and I meant to answer after dinner.  I never got around to it- we're dog-sitting and the new dog won't settle, my mother was always around, there was a big pile of dishes...Then I said to myself I don't want to look like I don't have a life on a Friday night, I won't answer today at all.  I worked on an art project instead.
This morning (Saturday) another email notification.  He had written again 9pm Friday night.  3 unanswered messages seemed a bit much to me, but until I read them I wasn't going to judge.  So I simply putting off reading them until just now.  My stomach has hurt all morning.  I was imagining him addicted to OK Cupid, spending hours on it every night, harassing girls.  My first message from him was so generic I suspected he was mass-messaging women.  Also you can see how much people are online and he always seemed to be.

I just read them and I don't know what to do.  They are super-enthusiastic- can I hold your hand, can I buy your art, can I smother you in kisses, are you having a good weekend, of course you are, you're beautiful and talented...

I told him he was scaring me.

I didn't block him.  I probably should... When I read his profile I was equally enthusiastic, a little smitten, only I didn't go shouting it from the hills.  It's the internet!  Caution is required.  It's so easy to make up this ideal person in your head, but you don't really know them at all. 
So I'm pretty disappointed that he's acting like this.   I had started to...hope. 
Does that technique really work on women? 
Too much for me.  Way tooo much. 

Ugh.

Butterflies...

I got my first OK Cupid message last night.
It was from my bearded fellow.  The only person I really wanted to hear from.

But, I have a niggling suspicion it was a copy n' paste message.  Well written, over-written perhaps, but didn't mention anything from my profile.  He said I was pretty and that he'd like to take me to a cafe for coffee and pastries.

Well, that's to the point.

Except I say in my profile I can't eat sweets.  Or coffee!

The weird thing is that I read it at 11:30 last night and I've had a sleepless, sleepless night.  I crossed a bunch of imaginary bridges and got overwhelmed. 

I've had a stomach ache all day.

I guess I will write back.  It'd be pretty chickensh*t not to. 
This guy said he was only looking for 'new friends' but he's made a pretty definite first move.  It makes me want to retreat...
Or, to go all out and send him a picture of me in the Velma costume...
Stay tuned...

Various thots

Is 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' a movie about incel?  Toula is 30 and unmarried, shy and drab.  I'm not sure, but John Corbett's pretty cute so I'll watch it in the name of research.
Just turned the tv on, I just missed the end of 'I Love You...Don't Touch Me' which is about a 25 year old virgin.  Sounds pretty lame though.

Still no messages on OKC, but someone apparently rated me highly.  They send you this email that says 'one of these 9 men rated 4 or 5 stars.  Go look through their profiles and if you rate them highly as well, we'll let you both know you're a match.' 

They talk about it like a fun game.  Oh, and it gets me on the site looking at 9 profiles, that's probably good for their advertising. 

I don't want to play these silly games.  I don't want to be favourited or ranked or winked at or sent virtual flowers.  Do we have to make online dating more ridiculous than it already is?
I just want a message! 

I read this and thought it was interesting-The Math of Beauty
Now, it's about women's looks, so be prepared, but the women featured are ordinary looking women and I actually found it reassuring that men rated them much higher than I would have.  Now I feel mean!

By analyzing profile photos and comparing them with the amount of messages the women get, the researchers found that it is to a women's advantage (in terms of male interest) if some men find her unattractive. 
A women who is rated a 4 out of 5 by almost everyone is 'cute', but no one messages her. 
A women whose rating is divided strongly between 1s and 5s gets lots of messages.

The theory, if I've gotten it right, is that being rated a 5 by someone gets you a message.  Hot = message.  Guys are excited and take action.  They might know they don't have a shot in hell, but it can't hurt to try.
Cute girls (4s) don't get messages because nobody's super excited, but everybody thinks everybody else is messaging them so nobody messages them.  Girls who get 1s and 5s get lots of messages because the guys who like them like them a lot, and they figure there's less competition so they're more willing to go for it.

You can't actually see other people's ratings.  We must all have some shared idea of beauty in our heads, enough to know when other people are going to agree with our ratings and when they're our own personal quirk.

The advice the article gives is play up your quirks- show off your tattoos and your crooked teeth...

My current photo is pretty ordinary.  A few years ago my friend dared me to join Plenty of Fish and at the time I had brightly dyed hair.  I got quite a few messages; I wonder if that had something to do with it.
Or is summer the slow season for online dating?
Well it doesn't hurt me to have a profile up.

Visited the new baby today, for only 30 minutes- bit grumpy that they went out at the time I said I was planning to come.  Weird dynamics about the family seeing this baby....we'll see how this works out.  The new mother is only 21.