Arrrgh!

I spent New Year's Eve alone.  Walrus was at a party.  He texted me around 9pm to tell me stories about the hosts' exotic pet.  Something was wrong with the network and texts weren't going through, or were out of order and I just stopped answering.  I didn't want to talk to him all that much.  If you're at a party, talk to the people at the party.  If you want to talk to me, make plans with me.

At midnight I sorta expected him to wish me a Happy New Year, but I didn't get any messages and went to bed.  At almost 1am, I got a text that said "Your messages are coming in quadruplicate!"  I think I asked something about the party...I was worried about him getting home, and about how much he'd had to drink.  There was a long conversation about transit.  He was waiting for a bus that wasn't going to come that late at night, so I got out of bed and started looking at the bus schedule online.  I tried to get him to walk ten blocks north, but he went 10 blocks south and was convinced he was going in the right direction.  (The streets are NUMBERED!  How can he screw that up?)  Finally I just got in the car and went to pick him up.  He didn't want me to, told me not to fuss, that I needed my rest, but I wasn't going to be able to sleep til he was home safe anyways and he soon gave in.   It was 3am when I found him.  He was only about a 5 minute drive away from his house but it would have taken him more than an hour to walk and he would have been exhausted.  He was making very stupid decision already.

He smelled of booze.  I didn't say much to him.  "You owe me."

When I got home I had aggravated my flu-like illness and had waves of nausea that prevented me from sleeping all night.

In the (late) morning when I woke up I was pretty cranky.  I didn't hear from him all day but in the evening it was the usual mundane texts from Walrus, like it had never happened.  I told him I was a bit annoyed with him.  "If you have a beef, say it."  I just said 'I offered to come get you so no use complaining about it."


Hopefully this incident closes the door on a reconciliation with Walrus.  It doesn't make me happy when he drinks, and I don't want to be around that anymore.  Not sure what happens now, but I'm fed up.

I think I'd be in a terrible mood if I hadn't started working on a new art project.  The rest of the world doesn't exist while I'm working on a project.
Wondering if I can combine this 'gather people together to give me advise on my career' meeting with me teaching them how to do this new craft.  That way they'd get something out of it and see me in action as a teacher.

I just want to move forward.

And Jasper just messaged me on OKCupid right now.  "Now that the holidays are over, what's your schedule?"  I don't want to meet him, but I said I would over a month ago....What do I do?
I understand people who don't want to message on OKC forever- they're busy, it doesn't accurately give you a picture of the other person, just arrange the meeting and enjoy the adventure of the unexpected.
But I don't work that way.  In real life I wouldn't agree to go out with someone who hadn't told me their name, hadn't managed to engage me in conversation.

Boys!  I actually just want to focus on me right now.  When I get in the mood to create, that's on my mind waking and sleeping.  And it's been a while since that feeling has gripped me...