Un-touched

Since I have been sick for a week, I have been feeling a bit shunned by all.  Sick people are germy and should be avoided. 
(I am much better, but still coughing dramatically.)

I'm so tired.  I've been go-go-go all summer, doing a bunch of smaller gigs.  Today I am feeling that I am perhaps getting ripped off or giving more than I should.  I'm an artist, and if I get more than $20 bucks an hour I get excited, but that's really peanuts, considering I've been a working artist for 8 years (theoretically.)
I'm trying to work with this arts organization that has a noble mandate, but is really hard to work for.  Several people I know have been burned.  Had a long chat with someone who was telling me to protect myself and maybe even to back out of some teaching gigs I said I'd do for them....
Anyways, that's not the topic of this blog, but trying to make a living as an artist is tough.  Probably plays a big part in why other things aren't happening in my life as well.  So there, completely relevant.

But back to the point.  Touch.
I heard a few weeks ago, someone dropped an interesting little factoid into conversation: ideally you should be touched 30 times a day.  Of course I have no source to back this up.  Also I'm assuming she meant touched in a welcome, positive manner, not being groped or punched or anything. (Yes, quality of writing in this blog is held to high standards at eleven o'clock at night.)  And not necessarily touched in a sexual way- but  a handshake, a high fives, a pat on the back, a hug.  There are lots of people out there not making any kind of physical contact with other people for long stretches of time.  It's pretty sad.
Needless to say, this has been a particularly barren week for me.  *Cough Cough Sneeze*

When I'm walking by myself, sometimes my hand folds around an imaginary boyfriend's hand.
When I'm watching a movie, I wish I had my head on someone's shoulder.
I want more than anything to try 'spooning.'

It's a weird frustrating feeling.  Who knew a hand could crave another hand so desperately? There's not really a substitute for the touch of another person. 
(Although having a pet around is supposed to help I believe.)

No wonder they had to invent these:
http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2011-06/video-japanese-sense-roid-robot-torso-hugs-you-back

PS:  After watching the video, those are weirder than I thought they were going to be!

Things to Work On. Part One: Career

I went to art school.  It was the best four years of my life, but when I graduated I didn't really know how to make a living as an artist.  I didn't think of myself as a small business.  I didn't realize how important networking was.  My mantra was 'If I draw it, they will come..."

For five years I taught art classes, did the occasional arty gig, and worked on my own stuff.  Then there was a sort of a meltdown....I was still living at home, not paying rent, but I had no assets and very little savings.  I have never had a full time job that lasted longer than a summer, and my twenties were coming to an end.

Last year, I went back to school, which I hate, but I think I've found a new career path that will use my art background and is meaningful to me.  I'm working hard this summer to make connections and I'm actually turning down work I'm so busy.   I'm feeling pretty good about my future; I only wish I hadn't wasted so much time.  Just gotta buckle down and get through this last year of school.  Hopefully soon I'll have enough of an income to MOVE OUT!