A very sleepless night.
At around 9:40 last night, Walrus texted me that he was leaving the party. An hour later, he was 'the guest of honour' and just couldn't get away. I'm sure he was trying hard to leave all the free booze and attention. At 11 pm I phoned and over the loud music blaring, I just kept saying 'Please come home now' and he kept saying 'I am leaving soon. Now. Soon.'
I kept phoning until he left. The party was on the other side of town, and the bus to his parents' house only ran once an hour.
When I first found out he had left without me, I sent texts to my friend in the frozen north and to my sister. Neither answered. I felt so alone. I don't really have close friends anymore.
My sister had been home the whole time; she just happened to miss my call and text. She called me around 11:30 and I told her the whole story and cried and she talked to me for a long time. She said people don't change and they will keep doing the same crazy stuff, so draw your line in the sand. We talked about depression and staying with people even when it's hard.
I was worried sick about Walrus being out there drunk trying to do this long trip on multiple buses.
She didn't see the urgency of the situation; her husband will stumble home drunk from the company Christmas party once a year and life goes on. Was he in danger?
When she asked, I had to agree that the worst that was likely to happen was that he would get confused with the buses. If only I had a car that night!
Anyways, I said I had to get back to calling Walrus and we said goodnight. He had been sending me updates and apologies while I was on the phone. He had gone to the wrong stop, which was going to slow him down, but he would get home eventually. I called him and tried to move him to the right spot, but then thought it was best if he stayed where he was. I kept him on the phone listening to his drunken observations for half an hour until the bus came.
At almost 1am he showed up at the door, drunk as a skunk. He said he had fallen in the street while walking from the bus to the house, and a couple in a car and stopped and helped him get up. He could barely stand upright. I helped him upstairs into bed, took off his clothes, found a scrape on his knee and did first aid on it. I said "Do you think I'm pleased with you right now?" "Nooooooooo!" he happily exclaimed.
I was quite calm and gentle with him. He fell asleep right away, after the hiccups stopped.
I of course couldn't sleep. I woke up early too.
My plan is to call his parents this morning so that they hurry back. I am almost 100% sure that I am going to break up with him, but I might not do it today- mostly because he's going to sleep all day. I am already wondering which one of us is going to go to choir from now on, and thinking about emailing his medical team.
This isn't how I wanted to end it. I did hope to talk to him about him losing motivation and how he could get back on track. But I won't be treated so disrespectfully and taken for granted. His night of fun had a terrible cost on me.
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