Ok, not taking the online class that starts today. That's decided.
Last night I found an article (on one of those cheesy I-blog-for-money sites) that said write all your goals, anything, and then pick the one you can do this year that will make the biggest impact in your life.
MOVE OUT. It's so clear.
Change environment, change habits.
I'd lose my practically-zero living expenses, space to make and store my art, time with my dog....
I'd worry about Mom keeping up the house on her own, especially if the dog stays with her, which I think is most likely to happen. And the piano...not that I play very well, but I'd miss it.
I'd gain independence, adult responsibilities and self respect. I'd be closer to town, I'd (maybe) be near people my age, and interesting places to people-watch. If I do the collective housing thing, I'd be vegetarian every meal eaten there, since that's house rules.
Ahhhhhhh....31 and still don't feel ready.
It's a two part goal, really. Get an income, move out. Or move out, and hope to get an income.
So...how to make it happen? And...a deadline?
Next thing I'm thinking about: HIDE ONLINE DATING PROFILE. I think it's just making me sad. I'm not even getting visitors to my profile, because it's been up for nine months. (Oh, except someone called LOVESPANTYHOSE visited yesterday, great.) I spend too much time on the internet as it is, and it would be a lot more meaningful to me to meet someone out there in the real world. And maybe I just need to work on my own life so that I'm not embarrassed to tell people about my situation. I can always open it up again, or start a new profile without the ridiculous username.
Good luck with this new beginning! It does feel very scary at the beginning, but remember that you are the director of your own story and you can always control it (and you have a home to come back to if you don't like it there). All the absolute best wishes for this new chapter of your life!
ReplyDeleteElf
Moving out: if you keep putting it off until you have the perfect job, it may never happen.
ReplyDeleteA smart move would be to set for yourself a realistic budget. How much would you need for the first few months? Rent/bills? Food? Other expenses (and it is crucial that you put some money aside as an emergency fund). Then I would take up any sort of job, however boring and menial, as long as it pays, to save up for this sum. As soon as I have it, aufwiedersehen, I am out of the door. The perfect job, relationships and other stuff will wait until you get there. Just remember to budget wisely, so you have enough to live on when you are finding your footing in the first few months or so.
Once installed, and without descending into a mad rush, I would advise you take up a less-prestigious job, perhaps, just to have a steady temporary income supply, whilst looking out very sharply for any new opportunities arising. Moving out is a good place to start networking and gain more contacts.
The piano/dog/housekeeping are all important, but these will work out eventually. You have to focus on the bigger picture and decide whether you really want to change something - moving out is not a bad place to start at.
Start by going to the collective housing thing and talking to people there to save a place for you (before somebody else snaps it up). Have a look around the place if you haven't already. Also trawl the web for similar arrangements/schemes that you can also consider in case the first one does not work out. You really have to try before you buy, and in this case, you'll have to visit a few places and talk to people who actually live there.
I tried a budget yesterday. It seems like I could be living in a collective house, and still have savings and fun money, if I made $500 a week. I suppose that would be after taxes. I am going to try and keep track of my expenses better, and research more, and try and tighten up my numbers.
ReplyDeleteI applied for the collective house, and my friend was very encouraging. She said two other people had applied. My room would be small, and there's no storage, so I'd either have to rent an art studio space, or work in mom's basement. Actually, that might not be a bad option for a transition. I could walk the dog on days Mom works, spend a day in the basement studio (and it would feel more formal), even cook a dinner to share with Mom, and then head to my new place.
Anyways, the collective house wants to decide THIS WEEK, so things will either happen or they won't. There's actually a few other houses looking for people in May, which seems too soon for me to be ready. The one I applied for is June. Things come up fairly often- a different house might be a better fit. I'd prefer one with dogs instead of cats, so my old dog could come visit sometimes, but we'll see what happens.