Human Resources is a misnomer

I have yet to meet a Human Resources department that is resourceful, and the one I was in today wasn't all that 'human'.

That is to say, I've just had a bad interview for a job I really wanted.

This is the same job I already had to go take a computer test for, one where you had a maximum 5 clicks to do the task (such as 'Print 3 spreadsheets on one page'.)  So no looking around in the various menus and figuring out how to use an Excel feature you've never needed before- you either know it or you don't.

Is this really the way to get the best people?
I feel like I am a smart and hardworking person, with transferable skills but I can't get through the HR gatekeepers who work for municipal governments.  Here's how today went:

I was waiting for my interview in the lobby of the HR department and realized the plants were fake.  I was pondering how strange it is that humans create artificial replicas of nature to decorate their interior environments.  I read a sign that explained what behavioral interviews were, and the process of conducting them.

Then two women walked in, and my heart sank.  One was my supervisor at a place I used to teach at five years ago.  She started her job just as I was planning to leave that organization.  I did a big project with my students as a final hurrah- we put a video on youtube.  And there was an issue with copyrighted music, it was fixed, but this was my first and last interaction with this woman and it was negative.

The women sat down, and the air was filled with awkward.  I think the woman gave an awkward little laugh. (She really doesn't have great people skills.)  I tried to be cool and said, "hi, how are you?".  She said, "We're going to be interviewing you."
"Yes, so I gathered."  They were called into the conference room, and a little while later, the HR director called me in as well.

It was a darkened room, no windows.  I sat at one side, the three of them on the other.  The HR director made a little announcement, "We're here to interview for the position of Volunteer Coordinator".  He explained that there was twelve questions and they would take turns asking them.

It was all very formal, very artificial.  Behavioral interviews are the ones with questions like, "Give an example of a time you handled conflict well" or "Name a time you used good judgement to solve a problem".
I absolutely freeze up at these types of questions.  I'm trying to think of some Shining Example, some Oscar-winning tear-jerking allegory of Eleanor At Work, but life isn't like that.  It's a multitude of small interactions with co-workers, with customers, with getting things done over and over again and it all tends to blend together.

And as an introvert I want time to think over the question, but I feel the pressure of three people waiting for my answer, and so I ramble.  I don't speak confidently....Basically it was a death spiral of humiliation.  Only one question was actually about volunteer management.  (I only did the one internship in a volunteer management position, but am very interested in pursuing it further.)

At the end when it was my turn to ask questions, I asked about the hours of work, and then I realized they had never introduced themselves.  And I had read in the lobby that sign about behavioral interviews, and so I knew the first step in conducting such an interview was to introduce everyone by name and title.  They had missed that step, and it is very awkward to be interviewed by anonymous questioners.  I asked the name of the second woman and everyone looked a bit sheepish as she introduced herself.

I have a little portfolio of certificates, awards, letters of recommendation, and my art and hobbies.  I asked if anyone wanted to look at it and the HR director said, "ah no, art isn't relevant to the position of Volunteer Coordinator [in an art centre]".   I've never had an interviewer refuse to look at it before- usually people say, "Oh, now I know more about who you are as a person, thanks".

So that's why I say that was an inhuman Human Resources department.

If any of you happen to work in HR, (and enjoy reading blogs about virginity?), here's how my ideal interview would go:
Everyone introduces themselves.  I show my portfolio first, so I can settle down, and make a friendly connection with the interviewers.  The interviewers go over the job description and I get to ask questions, because, remember--I don't have a job and I apply for lots of them.  I can't always remember all the details when it comes to the interview.  Plus, I've only read a one page description of the job, and the interviewer can give me greater details.  Then the interviewer could ask what experience I have that matches what they're looking for, what skills I have that are transferable, and what weaknesses I foresee, maybe a bit about my personality type and how I handle conflict, crises, workload, etc.  I'm pretty self aware- I can answer honestly why I see the job being a good fit for me and what I'll need to work on.  This should be a back and forth discussion.  The company needs to sell themselves and the job to me as well!

Sigh.  How am I going to jump through all the bureaucratic hoops and prove that I have all the skills they want, I just suck at interviews?