thinklings

I blog too much.  But I've just done a computer skills test for a potential job (and passed!) and now I'm destressing, ha!

A few opportunities, jobwise.  We'll see how it pans out.  I could end up pretty busy.  I am pretty busy even without working full-time.

Walrus has started texting me a bit.  Not sure how I feel about it.  It's just the usual mundane updates.

Health- Cough is full-on again, and a sore throat.  I'd better go back to the doctor.  And my allergic reaction to the antibiotics has relapsed, worse than before.  Spots all over my torso, even on my face a tiny bit.  Again, I'd better see the doctor.  Meanwhile, it's turtlenecks.

Appearance:  I've been thinking about this a lot.  Yes, I think putting more effort into my appearance will help me professionally and personally.  I wish the world wasn't so shallow, but it is, and I might as well try to play the game.  Seeing as I am advocating for people to live more sustainably, it will help my not-mainstream message get heard if I look like a stylish and professional woman.
I have some decent articles of clothing, if I work on getting some 'outfits' together with accessories (which I am clueless about).  I always wear those street sneaker/Sketchers type shoes, and I thought I could switch them out for ballet flats.  Yikes, one day in cheap flats did a number on my calf muscles.  Will have to invest in some good professional shoes with arch support!
I bought a scarf.  Green, with silver threads running through it. Now have to figure out how to tie it.
Also looking for a good blazer.  Still going to try to do most of my shopping at thrift stores, but will allow myself some special pieces.

Other projects:  Involved in some cool community/environmental volunteer projects, the joy of my life right now.

Previously I posted about seeing young families and feeling the Sad Yearnings..... It hasn't gone away, and I've thought about what is bothering me.  I think I need a role.  If you're in a family, you have a role in that family, you're a vital part of that group, and you're in it for the long-term.
I heard a definition of belonging the other day-- Belonging is when you're not there and your presence is missed.
I don't have a job, a circle of friends, a family of my own.  I don't have a role.  Something that I can do consistently, daily.  Something where I'm needed and important.  Someone to talk to everyday.

I think I'm working on finding my place, even without a partner.  Lots is going right.  And a job is just around the corner, right?

I am talking to someone on OKC, but I'm pretty neutral about it.  I will call him Car Guy, because in his first message he talked about hybrid cars.  His profile reveals nothing.  He hasn't answered any of the questions- don't know how tall he is, if he drinks or smokes, if he likes cats- nothing!  He just wrote a bunch of jokes.  He's obviously clever, but somehow doesn't seem all that nice.  I have no reason not to write back, but am not excited to meet him.  Not sure what to do.

Habits:  I've read that you should start with tiny, tiny steps.  If you want to start a flossing habit, start by flossing one tooth every day for a week.  Make it part of your daily schedule, so that it automatically happens after another action (brushing your teeth would be the logical choice).  I don't know how you ramp up to the full habit.  It seems a bit silly.
I haven't been able to focus on any goals- last week's goal turned into 'survive this gig you hate' and 'you're getting sick again, aren't you?'.
What seems to work for me is trading up--- stopping and looking at what I'm doing right now, or eating, and see if I can switch to something healthier or more productive.  I still keep track of what I've accomplished that day with Joe's Goals, and in general I'm moving in the right direction.
I still haven't tackled daily creativity.  I wonder if I can't face the solitude that is required to make art.