negativity

Hurray! The awful gig is finished!  I liked working with kids, but I felt like my co-workers were on a different page from me.  If you think crayons and paper are 'too messy', what are you doing working with children?

Sigh.  Then I got home and saw this:

Help me stop being mean

It's Captain Awkward's latest post.  It's about being mean, negative, and always complaining.  Pretty much where I'm at, and have been at for a long time.  I am not radiating joy into the world, that's for sure, even though I want to be a positive person (to a point. I still like sarcasm, and I don't want to ignore/hide/downplay negative emotions when there's a legitimate reason for them.)

I read it, but I think I need to sleep on it and reread it later.  It's too much right now.  Much too much.

Tidbits:  Saw Walrus at choir (the day after his break-up).  He looked a mess.  We made small talk but I wasn't sure if there's any friendship left between us or what exactly I was supposed to say or do.  I felt bad for him, but he doesn't want my pity.  I don't want it to look like I'm only friends with him when he's single, or worse, that I'm trying to get us back together.  I guess I wanted to seem sorta sympathetic, but I haven't forgotten what a jackass he was to me when I found out he was dating again.  Oh well, a few awkward minutes at choir- I'm not going to lose sleep over it.  There's probably no perfect way to be friends with an ex, especially when the relationship was as bumpy as that was.

Job interview today went well- I expect I'll be offered the youth camping job, but with another interview next week, I'll have to play the game of accepting the first offer, or holding out for the better job....or piecing together a perfect combination of part time jobs that will never have schedule conflicts...