There are three possible opportunities to see Big Hands in the next two weeks. How many do I attend?
Number One is discussion group next week, so that's for certain.
Two is an extra meeting of discussion group (since we got into some meaty topics people wanted to really explore), but I'd have to leave a work meeting early.
Three is a free documentary screening tomorrow, in a topic I'm only sorta interested in.
I'm actually planning to attend Number Two since I RSVP'd for the extra session weeks ago, before the work meeting was scheduled. I told my boss I'd have to leave early. I enjoy discussion group for its own sake, but I don't think I'd skip work to go to it if it didn't involve Object of My Obsession.
Uh, when does this cross the line into weird behavior? I'm surprised that I've done as much as I have in contacting this man. It almost feels like an alternate me is setting these plans in motion (just by clicking buttons sitting at the computer), and then the real me has to show up at these events. Not sure that makes sense...
As for his perception of running into me so much, it's not really weird if I come to two discussion group events since I'm in the group. The documentary might be pushing it though, since it will be a very small group in attendance.
Also, he's got these two friends, a man and a woman, working with him on his community project and the three of them often attend events together and they're quite the little trio. I will feel too shy to approach him if they're all together.
and...I feel like it's all pretend anyways. I can't really really imagine this working.
I feel that you should just try to know him as an individual. Don't treat him as this unattainable object to lust after. Just treat him as a human being.
ReplyDeleteI hear where you're coming from in terms of having a crush, but stay grounded and keep realistic. Don't let it consume your life.
I didn't end up going to the documentary last night, as I was much too tired.
ReplyDeleteI have organized with Big Hands that he'll let me into the building if I come late to the extra discussion group meeting, we had an amusing email exchange about bribing him with cookies...but there is a good chance either he or I won't make it that night anyways. I really should not skip out of work early.
Lust. Hmmm. Not sure how much lust enters into this. He doesn't really seem like a very sexual person, but I tend to underestimate that aspect in others.
When I say it's a pretend crush, I mean wanting a particular someone is a lot more than just wanting a someone. It gives my imagination something to play with.
I really do think he's a good guy and would be proud to call him a friend. The goal right now is to have a good conversation with him and see how that goes.