Nice girls finish last

My mom and I were talking today about my father.  She said he can't help the way he is.  He doesn't know he's being unethical because he has no sense of right and wrong.  She said he models himself on people he admires, and people who get ahead look out for themselves, any way they can.  So he's sneaky, but he doesn't see it as such.
I don't know how you can claim to be broke and then go to Mexico and not see anything wrong with that, but apparently my father's mind works that way.

Then Mom and I started talking about people who get ahead in the workplace by being popular , looking busy, smoozing, or making other people look bad.

And I felt so frustrated and downhearted.  It seems like good people get nothing but heartache for doing the right thing.

Think about it.  Doing the wrong thing is usually instantly rewarding.  Make it someone else's problem!  Litter.  Run red lights.  Buy cheap goods made by child labour.
We're selfish and we're getting more selfish each generation.
If we were civilized we'd go out of our way to help each other.

I try to do the right thing.  In fact, I might be overly moral.  I can't just dislike something; I have to disapprove of it as well.  It's can't be that I just personally don't like watching hockey (I live in Canada- hockey is everywhere), I have to be disgusted by all the money, hoopla, and energy that goes into a little piece of rubber sliding around on some ice.
Every product you want to buy, I've got a reason to boycott it.
Wanna go out for a drive?  It pollutes.  Want to see a movie?  Hollywood movies are crass and lowbrow and the movie industry is ridiculously wasteful.  It goes on and on like that.  I'm really no fun.  I'm extremely righteous and judgmental too.

I don't want to be like that.  But I have high standards for myself and I meet so few people who demand the same of themselves.

Walrus, I suspect, is not quite meeting my standards.  I am giving a great deal of leeway since he's had a stroke and is changing his life.  He's very good about bus etiquette and being thoughtful- but on his bad days I've seen him take out his frustrations on others and I suspect he enjoys telling people off rudely just for the fun of it.  (He calls this being honest.  Thinks it shows integrity.  I think diplomacy sometimes gets you further and doesn't compromise integrity.)

I'm someone who gets overlooked a lot and I've never understood what I'm doing wrong.  I don't promote myself, and I won't hurt others to get ahead.  I don't want others to clean up after me.  I don't want cheap goods if someone else is paying the real cost.

Anyways, I'm not sure of the point of this rant, other than that I know this:  I want to look up to my boyfriend/partner and feel sure that he is a good man.