Not Sent Letters Two

Dear Eleanor,
You're doing the right things.  You're reflecting and analyzing and soul searching so that you can learn from this and heal.  You're hurt, and it's going to take time to feel better.  It will take as long as it takes. Lots of people are telling you their opinions, but only you saw what the relationship was like for you.  Listen to them, because you may not be seeing everything clearly, but listen to yourself too.  You have a record of everything that happened, so reread that if you have to.  You always doubted this relationship, and there were good moments and bad.  Maybe you should be glad he ended it, because you wouldn't have been able to.
So do what you need to do, but don't dwell.  You've cried for a month.  There probably aren't going to be a lot of new insights at this point, and there's an even smaller chance that you find the magic words to fix everything.  It's time to try to move on.  It might be one step forward, two steps back, but start to let go.
Don't beat yourself up, hun.  You were brave to try this relationship and you don't regret it.  Neither does he.  You did your best.  You helped him.  You learned something.  Take that knowledge and use it for a better relationship next time around.  Because there will be a next time.  Don't let yourself doubt that.
If you still want to be friends with him, that's up to you.  Just be careful that both of you benefit from that.
Meanwhile, you should not contact him for a while.  Or his mom!
You have work to do on your own life.  You gained ten pounds dating him!  Time to take care of your health, your art, and your career.  I know you're lonely and it sucks so try and get out there.  Call people.  Leave the online dating alone for just a little bit longer.  In fact, you need to get away from the computer.  Take a break from blogging.  You're boring your readers!
Be strong.  Hang in there.  Hugs.
love,
Eleanor