Accentuate the Positive

I'm in a fairly good mood right now.  I met a friend at the farmer's market, got some fresh produce and buckwheat crepes, and had a nice visit with her.  So simple- I need to get out of the house!  If I stay home all day, I always feel low.  I knew that before the break-up.  I need to tattoo it on my forehead!

I spent a long time reading the Captain Awkward advice column.  I also looked at Getting Past Your Breakup.  I don't want to take comfort in the misery of others, but other people have had worse breakups and survived.  Yeah, I needed to learn that.  I'm very interested in learning about all relationships right now- the good and the bad.  The saddest ones are where the relationship was working really well, and one partner decides he/she had to go find themselves.  Wow.  I can't imagine what that would be like for the one left behind.

Captain Awkward is very fun and very adult-virgin/geek friendly.  It's got its own lingo I haven't quite figured out but regular readers obviously get, since the comments use the same terms.  Jedi hugs!  I also like the idea of 'Team You'. When you're in trouble, you figure out who's on your team and you tell them how they can help you.  They can be gatekeepers that can field questions from curious onlookers and acquaintances who mean well but say the wrong things.

I'm wondering if I'll be on Walrus' team or not.  I might offer to be, and I'll call it that.  A member of his team.  He can decide if I'm a help or a hindrance.  After all, not many people know what this year was like for him- I still might be the person in his life with the deepest knowledge of that.  I am fully aware (or trying to be) that this is a tricky thing to pull off- it might not be good for him, or for me.  I have some feelings of guilt- that seems to be normal after breakups- but I also think I have a better idea of how to support him now.  Thinking about this makes me feel better.  Just have to watch that I don't try to rescue him.  We have to be civil to each other so we can both go to choir.  We have been gentle with each other so far.
We will see.

Anyways, it has been helpful to me to see what is a normal response to a break-up (everything I'm going through is pretty much run-of-the-mill.  Loneliness, blaming him, blaming myself, getting angry because he told me 'forever', feeling guilty, wanting him back, wanting someone new, eating chocolate)  The book on happiness was also helpful in a weird way- there will be suffering and it can be endured.

It's weird how you can look at your own emotions and once you get that distance you can control them.  It changes from 'I am sad' to 'I have feelings of sadness'.

So finally a day without crying. I'll take it.