How are you going to get from here to the life you want, and the Eleanor you want to be?
Who do you want to date (when you dream about your right person), and what would they want in a partner?
Here's what you're going to do. You're going to work on making your life great, for you alone, and then you're going to go out there and get rejected.
Yes. Rejected. You're going to get rejected for a hundred jobs and dozens of art directors won't look at your portfolio and some friends will be busy when you ask them to coffee and men on online dating sites won't write back and you will go on some dates that won't be fun and all of those things will be badges of honour because you're going to keep putting yourself out there.
You thought life was just going to happen for you and it didn't. You're not just going to sit there and wait for things to come to you anymore. Did you really think the first person you dated would be the love of your life forever? Dating is a little bit of a numbers game, same as getting a job, or getting your art published. Rejection is a part of it, for everybody. You get to do some rejecting too. You've got to be prepared for that. Each new person is a fresh start and could be the right one, no matter how many rejections are behind you.
Work on improving the product (you as artist, employee, girlfriend) and keep trying.
A quick list of goals you (Eleanor) can refine later:
- Make a list of what you do want in a partner. You can blog it here. You're blogging a bit too much though.
- Exercise and eat healthy. I think you (Eleanor) can be 10 pounds lighter by the end of the year. Don't worry too much about the weight, worry about the healthy lifestyle.
- Get out in nature. If you are in a little bit better shape, you can try hiking. There's a month left in summer- can you find someone to go camping with?
- You're going to draw and create way more. Maybe 10 hours a week to start? Olympic atheletes are training 30 hours a week to be the best. You have to have some of that drive. You have to be willing to do bad drawings to get the good ones. Same with ideas.
- Go to life drawing- you have some pre-paid tickets to use up, and you can meet other artists.
- Send out another round of postcards or approach coffee shops to show your work. Get it out there!
- Apply for any job you have an interest in and don't worry if you don't qualify. Start visiting and talking to people at organizations you'd be interested in working for. Tell your friends you're looking for work.
- Get ready to move out. Talk about it with mom. Make a budget. Keep an eye on ads for roommates. Acquire furniture and household items.
- The best way to help mom is to do more around the house so she doesn't get overwhelmed. This is going to suck but it's the least you can do if you live rent-free, ya mooch.
- Accept all invites, go to events alone, look for clubs or classes or volunteer opportunities. Your biggest obstacle is loneliness, which makes you weepy and you can't do anything until you talk it out with somebody (which is why you blog) You need new friends, and that will take time and effort. http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife
- Keep living eco-friendly and doing what you believe in.
- Ask friends and acquaintances to do stuff with you. Throw a bbq party at your (mom's) house before the end of summer.
- You can have an online dating profile up but I don't think you're ready just yet to focus on dating. It would be a dream come true to be meet someone in the real world and not online, but you have to use all avenues available to you. Maybe next month you can put up a new picture and contact people you're interested in. I know a relationship is the thing you want most in life, and it is possible to meet someone while unemployed and living at home, but you're going to feel so much better about yourself if your life is on the right track, and that will make your relationship better.
Ready.... set.....go!
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