Boring Friday Night...

The quality of this blog is slipping.

Here is a link:
Mistakes Introverts Make, on Psychology Today

Are you an introvert?  It's different from being shy.  I happen to be both.
Extroverts get energy from people; introverts get drained.

I get energy from the right people in the right situations.  Introverts don't need to be alone ALL the time.  I do hate small talk and chit-chat.  I want to dive in to the deep stuff- otherwise we're just wasting our breath. And I'm quick to judge.  The article addresses both these topics.

Between Psychology Today and Captain Awkward, the internet has provided all the answers.  Ha!  Now to apply this new-found knowledge....

Various updates:

Walrus:  
Announced on fb that his search for subsidized housing is progressing and he expects to be out of the group home by the end of the month.  So strange not to be the first one to hear the news.  I texted him to ask about it.  Small chitchat about his camping trip, my internship.  I asked if he wanted to keep in touch.  He said "Certainly, if you prefer."  He's so formal.  And what does he prefer?  Then he invited me to the housewarming he's planning to hold when he's in the new place.
Not sure what I'm doing, continuing to contact him.  I don't think the thank you letter is ever coming.  I think he's forgotten.  Or if he hasn't, he has a hard time taking the idea that he has to do a certain task, and making plans to do so in a timely manner.  I am hoping for this realization, confession, that I was a good girlfriend and he is eternally grateful, even though I understand how my help wasn't helpful.  I was not his reason for living.  Life is not a Frank Capra movie.

Internship:
I probably shouldn't have accepted the lesser internship, because I'm bitter.  The other interns are not all that great and it is pissing me off.  One is all right, although unsure of herself and makes statements sound like questions.  One is too sure of herself, and announces every minor achievement, takes over group work, and has a really fake persona.  She practically coos into the phone.  The other two are making a lot of mistakes.  (So bitter!)  My role is really minor, I'm coming to realize.  I have to find some food and raffle prize donations- the least appealing kind of job for me- asking strangers to give me stuff.  I think I can still learn something from observing how the festival is organized, and I can still do my best.  There might be a chance for me to step up, but only if my attitude is good.

General Mood:
Still cry easily, but now my eyes just water for a few minutes, whereas I used to sob and wail for good twenty minute intervals.
Really tired after this week. I am a bit ill and my legs are ache-y.
Weird confession: Lately, I've been having this craving.  I want to make out with someone. Like, wet sloppy kisses roll around on the couch making out.  When I had somebody to do that with, I didn't like it all that much.  Poor confused body finally decides this sex thing might be okay, and now it's too late.

OKCupid:
Got a message from a 21 year old who said he liked older women because they knew what they wanted.  Hahaha!  I know I don't want a 21 year old, thanks.  Look me up when I'm forty-six and wearing leopard print.

Two nights ago, I got a nice thoughtful message from someone on OKC.  Finally!  I had looked at his profile previously, and it was cleverly written but I didn't see any obvious similarities and I moved on.  Not that I'm ready to contact men yet...but his profile didn't make an impression on me. Maybe I'd reached profile overload at that point.

 I said no internet dating yet, but I browse OKC when I'm bored/feeling low.  It's interesting to me to see what men say they want, and where they are in their own lives.  It's research.  Yeah, research.  

Anyways, I looked at his profile again and of course it was more interesting.  He's not bad looking.  His real name, as revealed in his message, happens to be my lifelong favourite name for males.  I tried to name my baby brother this particular name when I was five.

I wrote back the day after E (as we will call him) sent it.  He mentioned being an introvert, hence the article posted above.  I procrastinated by reading articles about introverts while trying to think what to say in the message.   No reply yet.

So a weird time of crying for Walrus, and getting excited at the thought of something new.  At the moment these are two very separate moods and thought processes.  At some moment they will probably meet, and I will be confused and feel guilty.  How long do you have to wait before you date again?  How do I tell Walrus?  Why is that my problem?  He had his chance.  What if the new thing is really good and I realize how crummy it was with Walrus?  Is that good or bad?  I will probably find a way to feel bad about it, and will also cry tears of happiness and relief that I finally know what everybody's so fussed about.  I will finally be in love.

Wait a minute!  Don't get carried away there, Eleanor!  All this turmoil, all this hope, for 100 words from an internet stranger.