The 'L' word

Did I really only meet Silver Fox seven weeks ago?  I see him every two or three days, and sleep over at his house almost as much.  I've got a toothbrush and a phone charger there.

And it's going pretty well.  We seem delighted with each other.

He told me about a week ago that his anxiety causes him to worry I will reject him.  He said it isn't anything I've done, it's just how his brain works.  

I'm hoping if he actually believed that was a possibility, he wouldn't have told me.

But I was a bit worried that I had that much power to hurt him.  Because I really don't think he is going to hurt me.  So, I get to be the bad guy?

I said "But, I like you so much!"

He said, "I more than like you"

So it wasn't a shock when the next time I was over, and we'd had a late night roll in the hay, he said 'I know you're not supposed to say this in bed, and it's early, and you don't have to feel this way, but I think I.....love you?'  (his voice went up at the end, like a question)

I said, "oh my darling" and buried my head in his shoulder.  But then I said, 'It's very early'.

I felt very overwhelmed and my eyes watered.  I told him that the last relationship had messed me up but I was happy with him.

I don't know if that satisfied him but that's the best I can do right now.

I feel like he hasn't been in love before and I came along and was sweet to him.  But for me love means we've seen the darker sides, we've quarreled and made up, we've gone through stuff and decided to stay together.

~~~

We have sex a lot.  At bed time, and usually again in the morning.  And he's gotten bolder with his comments.  Who would have known that my sweet respectful boy was such a horndog?

He said some dirty stuff in bed that made me blush.  Did he really just ask me if I liked cock?

I actually find it a teeny bit ridiculous but the guy waited until his mid-thirties to have sex so if it helps him feel like a man I can just play along.

The sex stuff is getting better but his foreplay is better than the actual event.  

~~ 

Nerdboy has contacted me a few times.  Wanted to tell me how sad he was, not because of me necessarily, just generally not doing well.  I went to his birthday party, it was a little awkward but fine.  I thought maybe the friends thing would be ok.  Then a few days after he messaged me and the point of the conversation was to find out if I still was with Silver Fox and then tell me he was stepping away from dating while he worked on finding a new job.