I will see Walrus tonight. We have emailed a tiny bit concerning me returning a cord for his phone to him. I tried to ask him what is going to happen when we meet. Will we spend the festival avoiding each other? That's not his style. He replied that life is too short to stress about these things and I should just do what I want to do and enjoy my weekend. Don't sweat the small stuff.
I'm crying now and I can see myself bursting into tears while seeing him or shortly after, so it isn't small stuff to me. I don't know what he thinks of me and it's driving me crazy. I'll admit it- I want him to miss me or feel like he's made the wrong choice. At the very least I want him not to think ill of me. I always have to be morally right!
The tiny hope that we will reconcile has to be squashed. It will not get me anywhere.
In the days of drama with my former best friend, she broke up with her long-time boyfriend, and she was in the wrong- she was developing a crush on another guy and hanging out with him all the time. But when her boyfriend broke up with her, suddenly he was the love of her life. She told me she wanted him to fight to get her back, and at the time I was disgusted with her for saying that. Now, I get it. Why isn't Walrus begging me to take him back?
Hollywood movies ruin relationships for the rest of us! No second chances here, no reformed sinner.
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