My life is too weird

Readers, this is not a joke blog.  This stuff really happens to one awkward 30-something Canadian girl.
Tomorrow I have an interview for a job at a sex toy shop.
No I don't believe it either.

It's a classier shop, as they go, but I am in panic mode.
It's only a phone interview, I should say, but still...

I am getting nowhere on looking for a job.  I was reading the classifieds and remarked to Nerdboy that his favourite cheese shop and his favourite sex toy shop were hiring.  He said, 'Apply for both'.
I didn't apply for the cheese shop, as it was full time and I don't need to spend that much time with cheese.  But the sex toy shop only wanted someone 10 hours a week and I applied on a lark.  He thought it would be good for me, and for a minute I convinced myself I was cool enough about sex.  While writing my cover letter I had all sorts of meltdowns and baggage and wanted not to do it but finally wrote something about my first experience buying a sex toy and hit 'send'.
So now they want to interview me.
This is nuts.

In my whole life, I don't think I've had sex 30 times yet.  I've used two toys, but they don't actually look like penises.  And anal, and bondage and who knows what else....?  It's all foreign territory.

I can't do this job.  I can't even talk to Nerdboy about sex.  It took me ages to work up the courage to get a 'how to have an orgasm' book from the public library.  I can't tell my grandmother where I work.  And what if someone I know comes in to shop?

Anyways, I have so much more I could be writing about but it's Halloween and there's pumpkins to carve.