Resolutions losing steam...

Which Downton Abbey character do I identify with?  Poor lonely Edith, always overlooked and now throwing herself at an older man.

(And here's a weird bit of internetness:  a whole Tumblr blog dedicated to Lady Edith With Googly Eyes)

I admit I'm feeling sorry for myself today.

The anemia is making it hard to get anything done as I get fatigued easily. Walrus was really quite weird about the anemia, told me I wasn't eating right and was content to take pills to survive, and listed all the foods I should be eating.  I was furious, considering he drinks and smokes and I've been shocked by what he eats.  I actually do try to eat right, and there he was lecturing me.  I was about to say something quite rude when he said, "I don't mean to give you a guilt trip.  I say these things because I'm worried about you."

The next day, he got the news that there might finally be a place available for him to live on his own.  It wasn't in the neighbourhood he'd asked for, or been promised, and I openly expressed my disappointment.  It's a nice neighbourhood- too nice.  It's known for being a bit yuppie-ish. I just thought it would be hard for him to get around on transit and that there weren't a lot of choices for affordable groceries...
He told me he'd waited two years (not quite true) for a place and I came up with a list of all the negatives.
It was true.  I was being negative and I don't know why.

I think we're on each other's nerves these days.  Oh, maybe 'cause I thought we were getting back together and then we didn't.  That might have something to do with it.
That was such a bad idea....

Quick, somebody find me a Sir Anthony Strallan I can bat my eyelashes at... (For non-Downtown Abbey fans, he's the titled, estate-owning neighbour 25 years older than Lady Edith)

I really am feeling bitter these days.  I'm very judgy.  I'm very lonely.  I'm wondering how much this not-dating-for-my-entire-twenties thing has shaped my identity and my character.

Other little tidbits.

I got invited to go to a weekly meditation 'sit' and happened to read out the email to Walrus.  He wanted to go, so I agreed.  Now, my family is very uncomfortable with spirituality of any kind.  We just don't think about it.  Meditation is hard.  Physically hard to keep still!  I didn't clear my mind.  I thought about art projects I'd like to do, which is not the point of meditation, but very useful!  After the 'sit' there is a tea circle and discussion about Zen teachings.  I am very unsure about all of this.  Walrus is keen.
We weren't supposed to drink our tea until everybody had been served and Walrus forgot and drank some.
Anyways, it was good to try something new but I'm not sure I'll continue.

I'm trying to find an environmental organization to volunteer with and am meeting with one next week.

Still looking for work, not sure how to go about that.  Trying to think of ways to make money from art and  freelancing as well.