Calm Before the Storm

Festival starts tonight.  I'm going to be busy for the next three weeks.  In addition to working the festival, and enjoying my time off at the festival with friends, I'm going to have a job interview, attend a baby shower for my sister-in-law and a friend's tarot party, and I'm going to meet E.   At the end of all that it will be my birthday.

So, I might not be updating the blog for a while, but I will try and do a brief recap after I meet E.
Here's all the things brewing....

My brother and his wife bought a condo yesterday.  They only looked for a few weeks!  Get pregnant accidentally, elope, get pregnant again, buy a condo...they're somewhat impulsive.  Have I mentioned she's only 21?  This leaves me the only unmarried, childless, houseless sibling.  Sigh.  I would like to have some marker of adulthood.

Walrus- weekly check-in email number two.  He's bored, bored, bored.  Nothing is happening on the housing front.  I invited him to the festival with me, openly acknowledging that it could be awkward, and he ignored the invite.  I suspect he is depressed.  Some folks from our choir have a show tonight and I encouraged him to go, but he's muttering about having a big pile of laundry...  I can't do anything more to help him than what I'm doing.

Internship- I overheard the other interns deciding not to place a festival volunteer in the public eye, because she was really a he.  They thought that would be 'inappropriate' and that she would have to do the behind-the-scenes stuff.  That was two days ago, but it's bothering me.  I think that's discrimination and illegal.  Not sure if I should say something to my boss.

General mood- Feeling like I want to be introverted.  Want to withdraw into my shell.  I like working with people, but I have to put on a different persona to do so.  It's like flicking a switch.  For me to be able to do that, I have to feel very confidant that I am knowledgeable enough to answer any questions that may come up.  Because I've been sick, I'm the lowest on the totem pole in the office, totally out of the loop and not given real responsibility.  That, and being given art tasks to do, only feed the tendency to introversion.
But for the next few weeks, I have to work with people, so I'd better pull it out from somewhere and turn on the charm.  I am having serious doubts that I have chosen the right field.  Maybe I would be happier in a job where I solve problems alone, or create things alone...  I probably need both- working with people time and creative alone time....
Still find tears running down my cheek before I sleep, sometimes on the bus....What is going on?
Also still fighting off the last of this awful cough.

E.  We've been writing for almost a month, maybe twice a week.  Now that we're talking about meeting, it's a bit more frequent.  I don't like to invest this much in someone I've never seen.  I asked E to go to a show with me, otherwise who knows how long this would go on!  In his first message to me he said he was an introvert, although he seems to have an active social life.  His messages are long, and so are mine, but like I said, mostly we talk about hobbies and the environment.  Zero flirting.  (I wouldn't know how to do it anyways!)
There's something a little funny about his writing- a little formal yet enthusiastic.  It will be interesting to see if he's like that in real life!  He's maybe 3 years older than me, a little shorter (darn!), works in computers, volunteers at the art house cinema, likes DIY projects that involve making new things out of old things.  I know a little more about him than that, but don't want to invade his right to privacy.
His profile says he is looking for friends and long-distance penpals as well as dates, so who knows what he wants from me.  Anyways, I'm sure I've pictured him all wrong and we'll find out in a week!  I am a little excited.  I am imagining things going well....but who knows?  Must not get ahead of myself.