Anyways, here's what I was writing:
I want to be an arts administrator, so being a professional artist will help. It's hard to know how to get there because the kind of work I want to do (public/ community art programs, classes, festivals) is still a relatively new field (where I am, anyways.) People who have the jobs I want were working artists who just happened to be around 30 years ago when things were getting going, and they never left. Now, there's a lot more pieces of paper you're supposed to have, more hoops to jump through. Basically I need supervisory and admin experience, handling a budget, managing a database...Not sure how to get started in that. I've basically gone back to teaching kids just for the work, but it was what I was doing before going back to school. I don't want to give up my art practice.
As for going out and doing things, most of my meet-ups are art, environment or outdoor related (a hiking group). I did join some more general social ones (board games and movies) but I'm not planning to attend anything just yet. I'm focusing on the ones that are 'good' for me and meeting people will just be a secondary goal.
I don't work a 40 hour workweek surrounded by people; I'm often at home alone so I need to go out or go crazy! I might be able to accept celibacy for a while, but not a total lack of a social life. Despite all these things I'm signed up for, I'm still spending most Friday and Saturday nights at home. Volunteering and joining clubs has really changed my life- it put me in control of my own fun, my own challenges, and has brought me good friends (and I'm not someone who has a lot of friends!) new experiences and even some paid gigs.
I've read so many dating profiles- I feel like I'm getting a sense of what men want. 'Takes care of herself' is the euphemism for 'not fat'. I'm a size 12. I carry my weight around my middle. (thanks PCOS!) A few years ago I lost weight, got down to a size 6, so I'm pretty sensitive about my weight at the moment. I'm calling my goal 'get healthy' but I'm hoping to drop a few pounds. It's a complicated subject. I don't think people should be defined or judged by their weight; I definitely don't think only skinny women are beautiful. But weight around the middle is dangerous, and when I was eating right I felt so much more energetic. And, I'll admit, it was more fun to buy clothes! I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. I want to lose weight for me, not to impress men, but in the back of my mind I know the reality is looks are really important to a lot of guys. (I have dropped about 5 pounds this month, just from the little diet changes I have been able to make.)
As for outdoorsy- where I live, it's what people do. Every other guy on OKC has a picture of himself climbing mountains and fording streams (and on POF, holding a fish they've caught). I want to get outdoors, because I used to like it, because it's the social norm around here (everyone in my family does it but me), because being in nature is good for me. Once a month maybe, nothing extreme.
I assume most men would prefer 'employed' and 'doesn't still live at home' no matter how much hiking I do, so career still needs to be the main focus after health. Or equal to health.
I kinda think 'fixing' myself is less-crazy-inducing if I think about trying to get my life the way I want it to be, rather working towards my idea of what men want anyways. I only need one man to like me, 'just as I am'.
“We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
Dr. Seuss
I need to make concrete goals. Hmmm. Does anybody know good goal setting tools? How much should I bite off each week?
Other updates: Turns out no one is showing up for women's soccer. Either I have to gather some players or find a new exercise plan.
Was offered another teaching gig today, on Sunday afternoons. I'll probably take it, but working weekends is no fun.
I watched this documentary about online dating today (found it at the library). It's called "When Strangers Click" It wasn't a particularly well made documentary, I think it was a TV special, but it was interesting. 5 stories, some happy some scary, but mostly positive in the end. The weirdest one was about two people whose characters fell in love in 'Second Life' and then they met in real life and oops! had a baby, and live on opposite sides of the world, but 'live' as a family in 'Second Life' . Remind me not to do that. I wasn't convinced after watching the film that internet dating was great. I was reminded how deeply weird it is, actually. Would much prefer not to have to do it.
I've had two 'hey how you doing?' cheesy pick-up messages this week. "Do you believe in lust at first sight? jk" I've also had an-out-of-town guy talk to me about Fraggles (my profile has a Fraggle reference) and a scrawny long haired art student started a fairly technical conversation about art. He sent me a link to his work and it was all sexy comic book women. Also his profile said he didn't want a relationship, just someone to sit next to him and draw while he drew. I stopped answering after two messages.
Well this post was all over the place. I suspect putting on my 'Dancing with the Stars' workout video and attempting to salsa would have been a more productive use of my evening, but too late for that.
ReplyDeleteArts administrator – brilliant career, very rewarding. Networking in this field is extremely important. Have you tried working for galleries or exhibitions? Also, there must be some Facebook groups that bring together people in that field (for example, we got Association of Women Art Dealers, which has events and all sorts of things). Also how about going to receptions or previews that galleries often organise – purely for networking? And of course, having a portfolio ready!
Can you list, precisely and fully, what “pieces of paper” such as diplomas, certificates, etc. you need in order to get this exact particular job? Also – can you list, as fully as you can, the exact actual skills you will need? Perhaps it is worth getting some job not in this sector that you want, but with all those skills, just for a few months purely so you can put it on the CV.
Teaching kids – probably not going to bring you where you want to be. Two ways out: either to just do the barest minimum possible to avoid losing the job (and pay!) and dedicate yourself to making a way in the arts administration, or use this current post to really develop yourself and make a name for yourself in connection with your dream job (e.g. organising an exhibition of kids’ artwork, etc.).
Don’t feel pressurised to go out at all costs just to tick a box, but be more proactive about it. Take any group from meetup, and just go there the next possible time available. If you hate it, you can always quit, and it is not good to put it off forever. Give yourself a push. However, concerning meetups, it pays to be picky: choose those groups with better networking opportunities, or those that theoretically can bring you where you want to be (arts admin). Try googling those groups to see if there is anything in your area.
Concerning what men want. “Takes care of herself,” as far as I know the male sex, is not really as much about weight (and size 12 is an absolutely normal size for real life, unless you want to hop on the Hollywood anorexia bandwagon) – it is more about how a woman looks generally: a good hairstyle, some makeup (but looking natural), well-chosen clothes, and overall impression of good grooming. Especially if you want to be an art curator (I was involved with this sector myself once) – elegance and style is quite important in this particular field (the auction house owner for whom we worked was one of the most interesting and stylish people I have known, although she was definitely not a classic beauty). Losing weight for yourself is a good idea anyway, and maybe seeing a nutritionist or a dietician would be a good long-term investment.
Gaining employment and moving out – again, this must first of all be about making you happy, not so that anyone else will like you more. If a guy makes a face just because you don’t have a job at the moment (with the current economic climate, lots of people don’t), it is quite certain that he was not right for you in the first place!
Hiking – try it by all means. However, if given a choice, would you rather do hiking or something else?
One particular goal-setting tool that I know involves drawing a detailed (as detailed as possible) picture of your ideal life. What it would be like if money or travel was not an issue? We all know what we don’t want in life very well – but what is it that we actually would like in our wildest dreams? Writing a little essay on this topic will point out an awful lot.
I am almost completely out of the gallery/fine art world. I found my true love is the hard-to-define field of Community Arts- making art with people. It can be anything from neighbourhood murals to a play written and performed by the community. There's very little money to be made in being a community artist unless you want to constantly apply for grants. A more practical goal is to work for the city's parks board or arts and heritage department, or for an arts centre or festival.
ReplyDelete(Blogspot doesn't like my Canadian spelling!)
To get my dream job (which I see as being attainable 10-15 years down the line) , I probably need a Master's degree, experience in admin, and an art practice of my own.
I'd rather not post more details than that, but if you email me I'll fill you in.
Also- Linked in? Worth doing or not?
ReplyDeleteLinkedIn - I haven't personally met anyone I know who have found a job through LinkedIn. However, it seems that a well-crafted profile would not do any harm; a set of business cards (with all details including possibly the LinkedIn address for you) would be a smart investment for the professional future (in the auctions world, as well as academic, they were swapping business cards like mad).
ReplyDeleteLooking at what you need for your dream job (and it's now time to start moving towards it - it's now or never), how about starting with the most accessible option? A Master's at Oxford may be slightly more remote at this particular moment - but a job in admin in order to gain skills seems like a viable option for this moment in time. How about we try getting over this first hurdle? The practice seems like a bigger project: how about writing a very detailed and precise list of all the resources and things and information you need to set one up? Then do it bit by bit, like eating an elephant (one parable I especially like)!
About Master's - did you try researching grants for those? Would you ever consider studying for one abroad (as far as I know, it's sometimes easier to get in as a foreign rather than home student, and you can get scholarships and the like). Or would you rather dispense with studying at this point in your life and go back to it later? You have to ask yourself all those questions, because it will give you a clearer view of how to set out to reach your goal!
I don't want to study at the moment, and if I did, I can't afford it. I have researched several Masters programs that interest me, and would like to do that 5 years down the road. Right now I just want an entry level position at an arts organization or community centre.
ReplyDeleteI think I should start contacting people in the field and asking what skills I still need to acquire. I hate doing stuff like that. Email, phone? How does one do it if I don't have someone to introduce me?
Regarding the skills that you might need to acquire, it's best to have a look at the advertised jobs of the kind that you want for yourself, and at the job descriptions attached. Have a look at several advertisements - are there any skills they all seem to list? Is there something particular that they seem to want each time? If some skill keeps getting mentioned all the time, chances are you would be better off acquiring this rather than anything else. If they want pure and simple admin, for example, concentrate on getting this, and don't worry about something more remote like fancy fundraising work. You can always get that later.
ReplyDeleteContacting people: first make a list of all organisations or places in your area which are of any importance to your sector. Then make a list of people who seem to be at the head there - their names, their contact details, any information regarding them. It's better to write to someone you know something about already, than just out of the blue. Check the Facebook or Twitter for organisations that are relevant to you, and like their pages - they might have specific events or specific volunteering, or exhibitions, etc. Proper networking events are also great - watch out for those (on the Internet). And get a LinkedIn profile, professionally-crafted and as well-thought out as possible - you could then directly contact people who interest you. I've found that email is generally better than phoning because it gives you more of a chance to think about what you want to say, and present yourself from the best possible angle.