I think writing this blog is helpful, even though I've been pretty negative lately...
Feeling slightly better today, since summer school is almost over, and I'm looking forward to a month of feeling healthier, enjoying summer and getting my ducks in a row.
Last night I started an 'official' Moving Out Budget excel spreadsheet. I realized I was trying to make a budget for a year of not working, when in fact it's only 8 months! I will graduate in May 2012, and can start working that summer! I'm going to get a nice city job right after graduating, right? Even estimating next summer's income using the wage I'm getting this summer, moving out is not completely unattainable. If I can make $150 a week while at school I wouldn't even have to touch my savings at all...
It's still going to be a penny-pinching life, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled and if anybody I know needs a roommate I think I'll go for it.
In other news, my pregnant sister-in-law had false labour last weekend so she could pop any day now, although her due date's next week.
I am still coughing a little and short of breath, especially when I wake up. I have to use a puffer twice a day!
I am still watching as much Big Bang Theory as I can, and my favourite classic movie dvd 'I Know Where I'm Going' had to go back to the library but I watched it daily for two weeks.
My best friend in another city is getting ready to move back to town, just a 10 minute walk from me! I can't wait, but right now she is very very very stressed and busy. We usually talk to each other several times a week, hour long phone calls, but right now our schedules aren't allowing that, and when we do talk she is very distracted. She talks a lot about all the things she has to get done and it's very boring for me, but I'm trying to be supportive since she's supported me through a lot of distraught phone calls! In the meantime, this blog is my release for those sorts of feelings- maybe a way for me to be more independent?
I also check this forum, Incel Support almost daily, although I'm not a member. I believe that is called 'creeping'! I find the success stories and the solutions page very helpful, although I warn you that there is a few people who use the forum as a cry for help, and their posts are very negative and even suicidal. Suicidal posts are deleted and their posters banned. It is sad that people are driven to that, and that the forum can't help, but they really can't... Also it seems that male incels react sometimes by hating women, all women....
I'm not doing a real good job of selling it, am I? There are really positive and helpful discussions, most of the time, I promise. A few days ago I read a post that I'm still thinking over. A guy posted he'd went on his first internet date and had a good time, but realized he had no business dating until he got a better job, moved out and lost weight.... Sounds exactly like what I'm telling myself now. Everyone told him that he shouldn't wait, shouldn't put off working on finding a relationship until some undefined date, that if he had a good time he should run with it, that he should work on everything all at once... I don't know. If he doesn't like himself, if he isn't happy with his life, how well he do in a relationship?
It seems that older virgins aren't in general very successful in other areas of their lives...is it low self esteem creating failure or failure creating low self esteem? This study paints a picture of the typical older virgin- I don't quite fit the mold except that I'm white and I don't drink much....
Note- Watching Big Bang Theory as I write- it's my favourite episode, when Leonard and Penny first go out.
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