Tidbits

I'm down five pounds.  Small cheer.
Lots to do and I'm a bit stressed.
Had to do a family dinner tonight, organized last minute by my mother since the aunts and uncles hadn't met my brother's new wife yet.  (My brother was studying abroad,  I hardly know her myself.)
There was some drama since I assumed it wasn't happening and started to make other plans....
We all went to a pizza place since our house is too messy to host a party.  I felt overwhelmed when we walked in late to a table of a dozen relatives.  I get shy.  No matter, everyone wanted to hold the baby, not talk to me.
I might as well not exist at a family dinner, since I am not married or producing children nor am I likely to any time soon.  Not that my relatives ever really knew what to say to me anyways.  I have some jealousy of the baby.  Not really, but a sort of a joke jealousy I can look at and laugh at, and probably is a little bit real jealousy in there somewhere.  I mean, there's already been some art things I've been involved in that my family hasn't come to because it was overshadowed by something baby-related.
This is exaggerated.  Even I can see that.  Still, these things cross my mind.
My nine year old cousin tried to hit me up to buy her something at the corner store and when I declined she said 'Don't you get an allowance?'

Afterwards the relatives came back to the too-messy house for tea and cookies.  My dog is obsessed with the baby and just goes nuts...He's got to be kept on leash, or in his cage.  In fact, I spent the first 15 minutes sitting in his cage with him, petting him, and trying to keep him quiet so the people in the other room can visit.  I took my dog out for a short walk as well.  I spent the rest of the evening holding on to his leash and trying to keep him quiet and wishing all the people would leave since  I was having no fun and I wanted to watch my movie.  The image of me and the dog sitting in a cage while everyone else visits in another room pretty much sums up my role in family gatherings.
I've got 'I Know Where I'm Going' out from the library.  1945, Powell and Pressburger film about a young woman marrying for money who gets stranded on a Scottish Isle by bad weather and finds true love.  So very obsessed with it.  Only one kiss, but it's a good one.  Her handsome naval officer is played by Roger Livesey, who seems to be spoken of as a truly nice fellow who was happily married to one woman his whole life.  He's not all that handsome, but I quite like him, and I like all the Scottish folklore and dancing.