Feedback Loop

This is going to be all over the place, thematically.

My blood test came back fine and the doctor said he couldn't do anything for my cough.  He couldn't find anything wrong with me.  Does that mean I'm depressed? 
A few years ago I was at the point where I would randomly start crying all the time.  I went to counselling and worked very hard.  I like to think I've beaten it, but at the same time I think I accept a mild depression as part and parcel of never having had a relationship.  Self esteem can only go so far when faced with the cold hard reality of nobody wants to snog me.

Found this video today:
http://blip.tv/the-incel-project-/dr-carpenter-977157


It's an interview with a sociologist on the subject of incel.  It's over 13 minutes long but reasonably interesting even if somewhat disheartening at times.  She talks about involuntary celibacy leading to more involuntary celibacy since the individual's self esteem is lowered the longer he or she lives with it, and possible partners being turned off by the seeming oddity of an older virgin.

How do I get out of this feedback loop?

My self esteem is pretty good, on the surface.  If I was asked, I would say I was a good person, smart, not bad looking....However I do this thing where I fixate on one area of myself that needs changing.  As soon as I work hard enough and fix it, I will be a successful human being deserving of whatever reward I'm after.  I have put off applying for jobs until I had one more qualification, or a few more good drawings in my portfolio.  In terms of relationships, I have tried online dating on and off and always feel like I'm not ready. 
I'm a perfectly lovely human being, just in need of some polishing before I'm ready to put myself on the market...(job or meat as the case may be.)

When I move out.  When I lose a few pounds.  When I get my career going.  When I've got a bigger social circle...
Honestly, I've even told myself I'm waiting till my hair grows out!  (I had a pixie cut that I'm letting go long, it's awkward at the moment.)

On a lighter note, I was browsing OK Cupid and am quite taken with this bearded fellow who likes Velma more than Daphne and lists Amelie as a favourite movie.  Fantasizing about dressing up in my Velma costume (because I have one, like every good geekette), and a mask and photographing myself holding a 'Do you want to meet me?' sign like Amelie sends Nico.  Not going to do it, but imagine the 'how we met' story....