I've spent the whole day thinking about this situation. Maybe thinking is the wrong word. It just sits there in my mind like a lump.
I left out stuff in last night's post....
I waited half an hour for him to show up- he was texting me with updates, missed the bus, took a taxi from way across town....When I first saw him I think I was so shocked, and disappointed that we walked to the cafe almost in silence. He tried to make some comments and I couldn't even make pleasant small talk back...When we got to the cafe I had determined to make the best of it and started up the chatter. I think he can't move one eye perhaps, because his eyes seem to look in different directions and it's hard to look at. Eye contact is so important.
His responses to my questions seemed to be on a bit of a delay sometimes, or he'd miss the point a little bit...Sometimes his stories went nowhere. Is it nervousness, his personality, or a mis-firing brain?
His stroke was in the right half of the brain- is it just his limbs that were affected? What if his personality was? He was oddly formal sometimes, emotionally on one note....I don't know how to explain it. Little glimpses of a personality came through, but seldom. It's hard for him to talk. How can he communicate who he is without total control of his voice and eyes?
When you get a message on OKC it shows up next to the sender's profile picture, in this case a pre-stroke picture...I must have made up this entire person in my mind based on that image and I was really smitten. The words he wrote were filtered through that image and I probably altered the tone to suit. Then this guy shows up and I can't reconcile the two images....
He's really excited about this thing. It's not going to happen. It can't be based on pity. Should I still be friends with him? He wrote those messages, there's a person in there that I like.
I'm really happy people are starting to comment. Thank you.
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