A big worry cloud hits

So i've been messaging the guy once a day and this morning his answer wasn't there and I worried he didn't like me and it always goes like that.  They like me and I panic and when I've thought about it and think I might be okay with kissing them they've moved on.  But he wrote.  It's very intellectual stuff, art and music, what talking about and it's making me insecure that I'm not smart enough because I can hardly keep up.  And I've totally stalked him on the internet, I feel clever and dirty.  He links to his website from the profile, and you can look up who owns the domain.  Then simply google the name.  I think he studied art history.  For fuck's sake he knows about every damn thing under the sun.  And i've just spent an hour reading his journal-writing thing page and it's so brilliant and I can't imagine telling this person that I've never done any real living and showing him my stupid little cartoons and if anybody ever does kiss me I think I'm going to break into tears and I just feel like this giant child and that I've wasted time and wasted my life and if he really did want to go out with me I would be pulled up into this world of his and I would puff up like a giant shooting star balloon and grow and be wonderful and he would be difficult and wonderful and he could fix the sink he wants to be married he just broke up with a fiancee I'll just be a rebound girl even smart guys just like boobs sometimes why can't i just hold someone's hand should I ask him to meet me am i smart enough am i pretty enough IN REAL LIFE?