Day two being sick. It's just a cold, but a nasty one. I get cabin-fever when I don't leave the house.
I feel like I'm wasting time. There's always something I could be doing, from the prosaic (clean the house) to the lofty (somehow make a difference in the world.) Or draw, or exercise, or somehow generate some income. I should give away my tv and disconnect the internet!
What have I been doing with my life? If I'd traveled, or partied, my twenties away, and then woke up to find everyone else my age had careers and families-- well at least I could say I'd lived, had some experiences.
I think I spent the last ten years doing online jigsaw puzzles and watching home decorating shows on tv. And the last six being mildly to moderately depressed.
Despite all the setbacks and disappointments, I don't feel depressed anymore. I stay hopeful, even if I'm terrified. Self confidence needs some work, but at least I'm trying to make changes. Possibly too many changes.
I think I wrote a long ways back that I was interested in collective housing, a group of adults owning a house together and sharing household expenses and chores. I hesitated because the people who live in them tend to be further along the hippie spectrum than I am: vegan, New Age-y, even getting food out of supermarket dumpsters. I'm further along the hippie spectrum than I was a year ago, but still not quite there.
However, an acquaintance/friend who lives in one (and who introduced me to the idea) has a spot coming up in her collective for June. I was daydreaming that if I got that job (the one I didn't get) I would have enough income to afford it. And it is a very affordable way to live... I'd learn how to garden! Chores would be assigned and scheduled for the first time in my life! I wouldn't have to live alone, I'd have a built-in social circle.
Now, I could just put my name in and hope that I get a steady job in the next two months, or live off my savings until I do...Maybe taking the plunge would force me to get 'proactive' and find creative ways to get an income! It would certainly change a lot of my habits very quickly, simply from being in a new environment with new expectations.
There is an interview process to get the spot in the house, because you have to gel with the housemates. They also want someone who can commit to long-term residence (a few years). Sure, unless I find a life-partner? And the house has a cat, so I couldn't bring my dog...
Other decisions- meet Car Guy or not? Take online course or not?
There's a certificate program I've been thinking about doing for a while, all online. It will take a year or two to complete, and it would cost $5000 or so. I already have a degree and a diploma, do I need this? Can I get the same knowledge through real-world experience instead of through more school? THE CLASS STARTS MONDAY. If I'd signed up for a class or two when I first found out about the program I'd be halfway done the certificate by now. There are two other courses I want to take, a one day Database Management class ($200) and a 6 weeks volunteer management class ($300). The online class (one of 8 for the certificate program) is almost $500. I can't afford to do them all.
I'm also trying to buy a bike. I haven't been on a bike since I was 15.
YES THROW MONEY AT MY PROBLEMS! I will be fit, stylish, and overeducated.
I don't know what to do, so I do nothing. Guess I'll watch all 6 hours of the Colin Firth "Pride and Prejudice" mini-series and lie here, sniffling and sneezing.
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